Friday, May 24, 2013

Dumbbell Blonde

I’m like every other girl—I want to be the Frankenstein’s monster of perfect bodies.  Let me explain.  Gimme Gwen Stefani’s abs, arms like Mrs. Obama’s, and top it off with my girl Beyonce’s bootylicious behind…if you could make me 5’9” and blonde, I guess I wouldn't complain either.  But that’s beside the point.  We all want it, but where we need to go to get our dream physique is scarier than any Hollywood portrayal of Frankenstein’s dark lair.  That flawlessly firm and toned fusion of bodies you so desire, requires you to enter the depths of a place few women choose to travel—the weight room.  Cue dramatic movie music.

Now before you go into your “But I don’t want to bulk up,” b.s. that every girl seems to have rehearsed down to a T, hear me out.  Do you honestly believe that your 30-45 minute trot on the elliptical while reading the latest issue of Star is going to get you your dream bikini bod?  You and I both know that’s not going to happen.  Cardio is great and important to maintaining a great physique, but weights are what are going to take you to that next level.  So before you flip to another page of yet another story about the (spoiler alert!) Bachelorette break-up, get your a** into the weight room!

Yes, the room is filled with mainly dudes.  Yes, there are some scary machines that I’m not entirely convinced are solely used for bodybuilding (get yo freak on).  And yes, that large hairy man in the tank top is actually making that much noise with each lift.  But when you finally put on that bikini you’ve been dying to debut, (you know, the one with the Brazilian cut in the back) I promise you it will be worth putting up with Mr. I’m-pretending-to-whipe-sweat-off-my-face-but-really-just-checking-out-my-abs.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not suggesting you jump straight into the cage and start squatting hundys.  Start small.  Pick up some dumbbells.  Get comfortable with the equipment.  Weights will change your body and get you that much closer to becoming the coveted Frankenstein’s monster (minus the bolts in your neck).

For those of you already BFFs with the weight room, stay tuned for a workout that will blow your mind…and that pooch right off your tummy.